My girls are pretty young. They are 7 and 4, and they love to dance. They are so different though. My older daughter wanted to start dance class when she was 4, so she did. She LOVES ballet. She is disciplined. She has perfect posture. She practices for hours without anyone suggesting it... My 4 yr old is not as disciplined, although she is very creative and loves to dance. She is fascinated by ballet, but she is a little young and not coordinated enough to pull of the moves her older sister does...
The self discipline is amazing. My 7 yr old will go to dance class and dance the whole time, diligently practicing, perfecting, working hard. She gets annoyed with the other little girls who tend to fool around and not take it seriously. She comes home and works hard to perfect her dancing.
It struck me one day. Perhaps she takes it all too seriously. When dance class was over, she hobbled out of the room. She had pulled a muscle and was clearly in pain. Upon further questioning, she told me she hadn't said anything to the teacher about it. She didn't want to sit on the side. She just danced the rest of the class, ignoring the pain. But when class was over, she succumbed, and she could barely walk home - I ended up putting her in the stroller I had brought along in case my 4 yr old was too tired to walk.
Where does this obsession come from? I'm not so sure it is healthy. I was really taken aback that she hadn't stopped dancing when she got hurt... and it happened again a couple of weeks later. Perhaps I need to discuss this with her dance instructor? (But, if she doesn't say anything, how will the teacher know if she's in pain?)
It's important for the teacher to tell the kids that pain is bad and they should let the teacher know.
ReplyDeleteSo you think I should talk the teacher about it? Hmm... that means figuring out how to say "pulled muscle" in Ivrit. I am fine with regular conversation but I really don't know medical-type terms!
DeleteYour daughter has an amazing mida that is obviousely being channeled in an extreme way, I admire that she persevered despite the pain but it is obviously not good for her. I think she is taking dancing way too seriously, of course the teacher needs to remind students not to take the pain and continue, but you need to sit down with your daughter tell her how strong, amazing she is how much you admire her inner strength that kept her going despite the pain and that you are proud of her, tell her that she shouldn't do it in this way because it can hurt her physically, but that she can do it it in a different way when she grows up like defend what is right and what is wrong despite the pain of embarrassment, or maybe defend the under dog kid who is being bullied...etc. Channel the SOURCE of the issue don't put a band aid and go on. This will resurface again and again in life and if you don't help your daughter use it for the best then who will?
ReplyDeleteInteresting perspective. However, I believe this was just about her desire to excel (be the best) at dancing. Dancing is her passion. She is a perfectionist and won't settle for less than being #1. That is the issue I want to address with her. That she shouldn't sacrifice her physical well-being in order to achieve some self-imposed idea of what "best" is.
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